3 Cheers For Death: Dead or Alive
by BostonSky
Summary: Being alive or dead, there was no difference to Quinn Fabray. She was always lonely and easily missed in the bustling crowd of life. Even in death, she was stuck in the same situation till she meets a stranger who finally notices her.
1. Chapter 1

Nothing made sense. Why would it? Life is never suppose to make any sense at all. One day you're happily walking down the same path you took everyday to school, the next you're in an ambulance bleeding profusely as the medics try their best to stop the bleeding as much as they could. But they couldn't.

Even in death, you can't believe what a sick game life is playing. You're dead. You are certain of it. The cold body in front of you proves it. And yet, you're here looking at the world as you normally would. What is so different in this life? You're as invisible as you were alive. Nobody took the time to talk or look at you before now its only fitting that you're stuck in the same situation.

You sit near your cold body. You felt sorry knowing nobody was coming to claim it. You were its only companion. You stared at the lifeless body looking at the disjointed neck, and broken limbs slightly cringing at the thought how painful that might have been. You're lucky you don't remember anything other than that moment you saw that car coming towards you. It plays in your head like a broken record player. You wish you could turn back time but you can't. If only you had taken your time to sit and eat your breakfast. Maybe that minute could have changed your life. If only. Life had too many if only... But the reality was, nothing was going to change. You just had to deal with the constant change of life.

You watched as they cremated your body. You wanted to cry for it but tears never came. You smelled the burn of flesh through the furnace. That was you. Burning away. In a minute, your very existence ceased with dust.

As hard as you want to, leaving the hospital scared you. You've been here for a month now. You've been in multiple surgeries watching as surgeons struggle to keep everyone alive. Once in a while, you witness a loss. It doesn't happen to often though. You wonder if maybe you had the chance to get here, you could probably have been saved. But who would visit and bring you flowers telling you to get well soon. Nobody. Maybe death was the better choice. You can't help but wonder though.

The first time you got any attention was when you were sitting at the cafeteria. You can't help but look behind you knowing that maybe she was smiling through you and not at you. But she wasn't. She was smiling, walking towards you. You're only really convinced when she slides beside you and says Hi. If you could have fainted, you would have. The idea seemed foreign to you that someone would want to smile or even say hi to you when no one did that when you're alive. Seeing as you're dead, the thought became even more confusing.

"Hi.. I'm Rachel"

**[Had this story in my head for ages and it was annoying me. So, I typed it out.]**


	2. Chapter 2

You look at the hand that waiting for yours. You look at her smile. You hear the words. You stare at the being sitting next to you. She looked real. She smelled real. She felt real. Was she real?

"Are you real?"

She smiled and shifted her body to face you. She carefully took your hand and placed it on her chest. You felt the beating of her heart pulsating to your palm. She had a pulse. Blood was rushing through her body, pumping her heart. She was a functioning, living human being looking straight at you. You subconsciously placed your hand against your chest to check if you too had a pulse. You quickly missed the obvious lack of thump that was on your right hand. On your left, you felt the rhythmic beat pound and on your right, all you felt was a hollow abyss. Someone played a music on one hand while denying a companion on the other.

You hear someone call out for her. She quickly lets go of your hand and turns to the standing figure next to you. Can he see you? You wonder but as he looks around the table, you realize that he can't. It was only Rachel who could see and touch me. You try to figure out who this boy was. He looked like he could be of the same age as you and Rachel's. You try to sniff him. Its a habit you picked up once after you were dead. It was a way for you to try to be as close to a human being. You couldn't seem to touch anyone. Sniffing at that point seemed like a good idea and soon it developed into a habit. A bad habit you could say. Then, realization hits you like a ton of bricks. Nobody smelled. Not the doctors, not the patients unless they were dying, not flowers or rains. Nothing smelled but Rachel. She smelled of peaches. Again, Rachel intrigues you.

You were too busy drowning in your thoughts that you don't realize the boy was walking away. Rachel stood in front of you waving her hands over your face. She's trying to get your attention. Nobody once did anything to get your attention. She quickly hugs you and tells you that she needed to go. As she lets go, you immediately missed the warmth from her. You sniffed her one last time remembering the smell. How you missed smelling. We take things for granted only to miss them when its gone. Who knew smelling anything, be it pleasant or foul could make such an emotional impact on you.

She smiles and walks away.

* * *

Its been close to 4 months since you died and nothings changed. Everyday you walk around the hospital like you always do. But this time, you walk with hope. The canteen has become your favorite place to be. You'd try to smell the aroma of delicious food wafting through the air but everyday you're met with disappointment. Just like everyday you hoped to smell any lingering peaches in the air but again, nothing. You'd wait at the canteen hoping Rachel would be there but she's never there. But you never gave up hope that one day she might return.

You've never felt more alive in that 10 mins you spend with Rachel. Being dead made you alive and when you were alive, you've never felt more dead. You laughed at the thought. Life's twisted isn't it? Why couldn't you have met her before? Before the crash, before everything. Where's the reset button when you needed it.?

The best thing about being dead is the ability to do anything and no one would know. You could be in a operation theater singing at the top of your lungs and no one would hear. You could be dancing around, crawling, jumping across the hallways and they'd just pass you by. It does get lonely but you've dealt with loneliness before. It even knows your name.

Your name is Quinn Celeste Fabray. You were born on April 30th 1994. Died August 23 2010. If you were alive, you'd probably be spending your christmas in front of the Tv eating popcorn alone. At least this year, you're surrounded by a lot of people. That's a change. Not really a good change or a bad one. Just a change.

You never noticed that you've been in the canteen since morning. Its now late afternoon. Time flew by so very quickly when you're dead. You look around the tables, thinking where should you go now. You've been everywhere in this hospital. Every toilet on every floor, you've seen lovers hide away in secret rooms in the hospital. You've been in the mortuary looking at the many bodies that lie there cold. You've been in the kitchen looking, memorizing the recipes that the chefs cook. You missed not learning how to cook when you were alive. You could leave the hospital. You knew that there was a bigger world outside of the hospital. You should leave.

But what if Rachel comes back? You wanted Rachel to be your reason to stay and be a coward but deep inside you, you knew if Rachel wanted to come, she'd have come months ago. It was 2 days away from Christmas. As pretty as the lights were in the hospital, you wanted more. You wanted to see more. You can't settle for familiar and safe. You've been doing that for 16 years. Now is a time for change. Just a change.

With that, you stepped out of the comfort of the hospital. As each step you took in the snowy path, you were a step away from the building you called home for the last few months. You were going to miss it. Definitely.

**[ Thanks for reviewing and putting this on alert. About Rachel's ability to see Quinn, well there's a reason why she's the only one who can see her. I won't tell you though till later. Much later.. ]**


	3. Chapter 3

You found yourself walking through the familiar streets you used to walk everyday to school. Today, the streets were covered with snow. Gone were the familiar muddy pathways. Gone were the visible cracked concrete pavements. You remembered skipping over the cracks. Avoiding stepping on it only because it felt like you were stepping on earth's wounds and scars.

You've walked by this street countless of times but it seemed different this time. The trees looked bigger, the roads looked wider. You never noticed that there were markings on the trees before. Maybe you never bothered to look. You realized then while you were busy thinking you were ignored by society, you, yourself ignored society. You never bothered about anyone or anything. So it was fair to be said that you got what you deserved. Maybe if you hadn't been too caught up hating the world, you'd see that the world is so much bigger than you.

Soon, you feet took you to the steps of your house. Would you dare to peep in it? You did. Lights, stockings, presents decorated that once gloomy house. You see a boy and a girl running around the tree. You smiled at that. It must be fun to be that happy and carefree. To be that young and without problems. To be alive. You left the family to themselves in your house. Their home. It was never much a home to you. Just a house. An empty house you stayed in.

People everywhere walked around singing. Carollers. You used to hate it when they'd come and sing at your doorstep. They were always so cheerful and festive. But as you listened to them sing, you felt joy. Peaceful even. You wished you could show your appreciation to them. But you can't. All you could do is listen and clap knowing they wouldn't hear any.

You've always been a bitter bitch. You blamed the world for every problem and mishap that's happened to you. And yet, now that you're dead, you can't really blame anyone for your death. You can't really blame the world for not caring that you're dead. You can't put blame on life that you're walking around watching people dance and sing and laugh, you can't participate in it. You had your chance and you blew it.

But what could you do with regret? Nothing. Everything had been done and said. You may be dead to the world but you're alive in your heart. You're done with seeing the world through your sad eyes. You're alive and walking around enjoying everyday. You may be a ghost or a soul or whatever it is that you are but you're here having a second shot at life. You're not going to waste it on being bitter. You've done all that for the last 16 years. If you were to spend your life this way, you'd rather spend it dead and thankful then alive and sad.

As you turn a corner, you realized that you were steps away from the place you died. The place where you met your fate. You walked closer to the street, recalling every minute before you died. You were on your way to school, ready to drop out of college. You couldn't bare to spend another day in that hell hole. Everyday was another day to be picked on by the professors and students. You were failing every class. The student loan you knew you could never pay back. You thought, college would be great. People would be kinder and nicer but they weren't. Nobody ever was.

You had a plan that fateful day. Go to school. Quit school. Go home. And kill yourself. You wanted everyone who has ever made you feel lesser than you are to feel guilty for pushing you off the edge. But life is never what you planned it to be.

You quickly noticed candles close to area your body was found. A figure sitting by it. Singing? He was praying. Who was praying this night when everyone else was out being joyful.. Why was he even praying on the streets. You walked a little closer, tiptoeing even trying not to startle the figure. You then realized that you're invisible so you walked a little faster curious as to whom is this person praying at your scene. As you got closer, you sensed a hint of peach in the air. You knew that smell. You knew who that belonged too. The girl you've been waiting everyday for. She was here. You're positive its her. Praying. Why though?

"Hello Rachel"

**[I woke up happy to face the weekend only to have my plans burned because hours after I woke up, I became terribly sick. No warning no signs. Haha oh god. I'm like Quinn, bitter, sad and sick. Nah, I took it in stride and decided to write for all of you :) Enjoy]**


	4. Chapter 4

"Hello Rachel"

The figure turned to you, tears in her eyes. It was Rachel as you'd hoped and expected. She looked like she'd been crying for hours. Her eyes were puffy and her nose was as red as Rudolf's'. Tis the season to be jolly so why all the sadness you wonder. More importantly, why was she crying by the roadside? You didn't wait to be asked. You found yourself sitting next to her, holding her close to you. Shushing her cries away but she cried even harder as she she rocked against your body. Her muffled cries vibrated through your body. You ran your hands through her hair. Soft brown curls tangled up in between your fingers. Its been forever since you've felt anything that soft. Your hair doesn't compare to the feeling your fingers felt as you first let your fingers run through her hair. Rachel's sobs became quieter as you felt her body relax further into you. As you close your eyes, trying to remember the last time you've ever had anyone this close to you, dead or alive, you suddenly felt her body tense up.

You felt rejected. It was no surprise really. You attracted rejection and failure. It was normal to you but being rejected by Rachel, it was heartbreaking. You barely know this girl and yet, your body and your mind, heck even your non-beating heart feels like you know her. She felt safe and comforting. She was warm and loving. She was the blanket to the cold winter. She was the change a beggar needs to survive. She was the water in the desert. She felt important to you somehow. In how many minutes you've managed to spend with her, you can't help but care for this stranger.

Before you realize, she's already up on her feet. Ready to leave you'd assume. Instead she's holding out her hand. You shake it in confusion. She laughs and quickly tries to lift you up from the ground. You stop her knowing her tiny stature couldn't possibly carry you up. Besides, you had legs. You could get up by yourself.

You liked that she's much shorter than you. Your chin is level with the top of her head. You measure the difference between her head and yours with your fingers. She realized what you're doing and slapped your hand away. She folds her hands to her chest, huffs and walks away from you. She looked adorable stomping away from the situation. She reminded you of a little kid who was denied some candy and was walking away in anger. Adorable.

You chase her and call out her name. You misjudged her short legs, she could run. You were barely half way to her and you're already coughing, desperate for air. How is it that you're dead and you're huffing and puffing after a few jogs? Life's logic never made sense to you. You're learning the rules of the dead everyday. Learning new surprising things life or maybe it's death had in store for you. One thing for sure, nobody could see, touch or hear you but Rachel. That was it. You play the game with your rules. You could scream as loud as you possibly could and no one could hear a thing. So you did. You screamed her name loud. Singing it even till she stopped running. Covering her ears, she runs back to you and tries to shut you up with her hands. You smiled against her warm palm.

You wonder how long she's going to hold your mouth captive with her hand. You wonder no more when she slowly puts her hands down. She questions your next move with her eyes. You know she's ready to pounce on you again if you start screaming her name. You don't. You don't care for silly games that goes nowhere.

You've never felt sorry for anything. Even when you punched the boy next door for peeping at you, even when you blatantly ignored a lady who was on her knees trying to pick her fruits. Rachel made you care. Being sorry felt foreign to you. Someone should give you a medal or a trophy. It's not everyday you felt sorry. Not everyday indeed.

"I know. It's fine. I forgive you"

She beat you to your apology. You probably had sorry written all over your face. Perhaps she was psychic? Was she? You doubted that very much but with the strange situation that you currently were in, you decided not to discredit that idea. Everything was possible said the cynic that was you. The you before you died.

The questions that invaded your mind earlier as to why she was crying on the floor this late night vanished as she held your hand and walked alongside you. Resting her head on your arm, she lead you into wherever her feet took her. You followed her pace. You've never been a follower but here you are, following. Wherever she was taking you, you knew it was going to be alright. Your journey would end with Rachel by your side and that thought was enough reason to still be walking with her.

**[Oh man, being sick is blah!.. recovering is even more blah!..My head feels so empty. Its like the flu came and stole my brain away.. So if this chapter is blah!, I apologize. If you have any guesses or theories as to why Rachel was crying and why is she the only one who can see Quinn, feel free to tell me. I've set the reasons why but I'd love to know what's going on in your cute lil brain. Alright, too much talking/typing.. need sleep. Enjoy :) ]**


	5. Chapter 5

It wasn't that far of a journey. Maybe it was, but your mind was preoccupied with listening to Rachel's ramblings. You didn't even realized that you've both stopped walking and was now standing in front of a massive concrete building. A building you've passed a couple times before but never once entered. You knew of the people who would occupy this structure. The rich snobs who felt they were superior to everyone else. You've always shunned this part of town. Everyone here was an act. Rachel was one of these snobs? You'd never would have guessed from the way Rachel talked and behaved.

There was a saying somewhere that you can't judge a book by its cover and you've been judging, assuming the worst in everyone you've met. There was so much hate in your bones, you felt embarrassed to even be here, standing with Rachel. Rachel who had been the total opposite of a rich snob that you'd imagined them to be. Perhaps in a life where you'd be breathing and alive, you'd never would have been fortunate to meet this lovely lady. Maybe you would have met her but you doubt you'd talk to her. Even before a simple Hello or a smile would pass between you two, you'd have judged her simply based on where she lived.

You stood by the doorway. Waiting. Waiting for anyone to run towards you with a bat, screaming profanities, shouting asking you to vacate the premise. At least that's what you'd imagine everytime you'd stand out looking in. But instead, Rachel tugs your hand forward, following her in.

Once inside, you were greeted with a massive tree decorated with lights and presents. Those presents were empty, Rachel explained. It was for show. You were right. They were an act. But you agreed with no malice in tact. It was for show because it was Christmas and the lobby would have looked empty and stood admiring the beautiful fake tree. You couldn't help but smile at how a fake plastic tree could make you excited. Sometimes, we all need to create a false idea for the real emotions to appear.

We stood in the elevator waiting for our stop. You noticed there were 25 floors and we were going straight up. You never were a big fan of heights. There was something about being that high up and not being able to control anything. A push, a stagger, a crack could bring you plummeting to the ground. It wasn't really about the height. It was about falling. Falling into the unknown. Falling into uncertainty. Even when you had debated with yourself on how you wanted to die, well D-I-Y style. You never considered jumping off a building to do it. The feeling of looking at everything from a point where soon, concrete would hit you scared you. The endless moment where you'd be free falling and knowing for a moment, you were free like a bird only to not have the wings to catch you and then regret comes in and then boom. You die. You'd rather feel pain through a knife wound or choked by a rope or a shot across the forehead. Anything but jumping to death.

The way you died, getting hit by a car. On ground zero. You had no choice but to die. Life didn't flash by you like you thought it would. Maybe cause it wasn't a premeditated death. You were too busy trying to kill yourself that very day to think maybe death had its own plan for you.

The elevator's bing took you straight back into the realm of reality. It opened its doors to an amazing home. Pictures of Rachel filled the hallways. Still holding your hand, Rachel skipped towards the kitchen to grab you both some tea. Peach. It was peach tea. The aromatic scent of hot peach tea wafted through your nostrils. Everything smelled like peaches.

You sit by the counter watching Rachel as she sips on her tea and munching on some cookies. Your tea was left sitting only inches away from you. As long as you've been dead, you've never had urges to drink or eat. But you can't help but salivate at the very sight of the tea and cookies. How was it possible? Rachel pushed the plate piled with freshly baked white chocolate cookies in your face. If you took a bite, would you be breaking some unspoken rule of the dead? You highly doubt there were even rules.

You take a bite into the cookie and moaned as its warmth fills your mouth. This was your first supper since your last breakfast. Which was a few months ago. You relish every bite, savoring its complex taste even if it was only cookies. Never had you appreciated a cookie more than today. Tea. You love tea. Sipping it to wash the cookie down was perfect. Close to perfect. You've felt warmth from Rachel's touch but the feeling of warm liquid go down to your chest to your tummy was a feeling quite different. It was like a cold cavern was being heated with the heat of a fire. It wasn't entirely hot but warm enough.

No one had the ability to make you feel this way. No food, no drinks, nothing made you crave or yearn for it. It made you feel human for the first time in a long time. Even before you were alive. You wonder if all that had been a dream. Maybe you didn't die? Maybe this was just a bad dream and you've finally woken up from you deep slumber. But everything felt real. It seemed real enough.

You were confused. You should be. Nothing made any sense. For the better part of your life, you were convinced you were dead to the world. Now that you're dead, you're convinced you are alive. As alive as you could be to Rachel. But who was Rachel? You needed answers. She maybe the only one who had answers.

But how does one start a conversation? You never were sociable. People were just pawns in your story. People and their thoughts didn't matter. And yet here you were, wanting to know every thought running through Rachel's mind. There had to be a reason why it was only her who could see you, who could touch you, who made you salivate. Was she an angel? The devil maybe? Did you even believe in any? You had too. You had no choice but to believe in something more. More than any human could believe. More than Santa or dragons.

God. Three letters. A word. A reason for faith.

You never were a spiritual person. Why should you? God was supposed to love all its creations. Why then, were some of his creations lifes fared better than others. Were they not worthy enough of his love? What wrong did they do? What wrong did you ever do to be cursed with such a life? And even now, God was playing a game with you. You couldn't decide whether to be angry or grateful. You couldn't. Not right now anyways. You had questions to ask Rachel and by the look on her face, you knew she was nervous. She knew that you knew something.

Before you could ask her, a voice pierced through the menacing silence. A figure soon loomed next to you. He looked familiar. You've seen him before. Before you were dead. Before everything else. You tried hard to remember him. His smile as he bit into the cookies. He couldn't see me. Of course he couldn't. Who was this boy? So many questions and no answers.

**[I've been terribly terribly busy this whole week. I'll be even more busy next week on. I'm currently updating my portfolio for college admissions. Art college here I come. I'll try my hardest to update this story and The Steps to Redemption as soon as I can. I have an outline of sorts for both stories but with my busy schedule, I can't sit down and just write. I'll try though. If you are impatient, I suggest annoying me with constant messages telling me to hurry. People breathing down my neck usually gives me more motivation. In other news, I'm getting married. Not really. Aprils fools. Oh its only December.. Oh well, Happy Birthday Rachel Berry. Enjoy reading. Also, don't forget to review this. Every feedback is appreciated. Ok, I'm done.. Till next time.]**


	6. Chapter 6

**Happy New Year!.. Sorry for the delay. Lets begin.

* * *

**

You circled him like a vulture circling its prey. Eyeing him like he was the only object in the room. He wasn't your prey though, he was simply the object of your attention. The fullest attention you've given anyone. You tried hard to remember who he was. Taking mental notes of his every laugh,movements..anything that could trigger some sort of memroy. You're certain you knew him.

You could feel Rachel watching you. Watching you watch him. Watching him watch Rachel. Him never realizing that I was there in the room. It was clear that Rachel knew that he couldn't see me. If she did, she would have introduced me to him. Instead she just stood there watching.

The boy left the kitchen with the plate of cookies and proceeded to the sofa. He knew where everything was. He quickly found the remotes and laughed at whatever was on TV. He was comfortable in this house. His feet crossed on top of the side table. Crumbs of cookies fell on the sofa. One thing was certain, he was no stranger to this house hold.

You felt a tug on my sleeve and it was Rachel nudging you, beckoning you into the hallways and away from the eyes and ears of the boy. You followed. How could you not? You needed answers.

She lead you through the hallways and up a massive step of stairs. How big was this apartment? How rich was Rachel?

You finally reached the top of the stairs only to be greeted with a locked door that said rooftop. Rachel grinned, rummaging through her pocket for the key and quickly opened the doors.

You've never been this high up from the ground before. Everything looked so small. Like it didn't matter. Like you were the king of the world and everyone else down below were your pawns. You felt closer to the sky. The moon seemed nearer. But its not. It never was. You could see the whole city from where you were standing. You never noticed how beautiful and colourful the city was. Down below, everything seemed dark and blurry. You never paid attention to anything. That's why.

"I need to tell you something Quinn."

You break out of your thoughts at the mention of your name. Its been so long since you've heard anyone utter it. You missed it. It annoyed you before when everyone was pulling and tugging you in every direction, calling your name, screaming it. "Living" in the shadows made you miss every little tiny thing you deemed an insignificance before. You then realized you never did tell Rachel your name.

**[Remember when I said I was busy updating my portfolio, well that plan kinda dissolved but I'm back now to update both stories.. Thanks again for reading and reviewing it. This is super short because I havent gotten the groove of writing back after the short hiatus. So bear with me a little.]**

⦁ To**_ TheMaskedSidekick_**, I may have lied to you about the outline of the story :D


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